Parenthood is something for which one can never be fully prepared for. When we decided to take the plunge, we had started prepping well in advance. Consulting the gynaecologist, reading related articles, getting full body check-up, abstaining from the unhealthy things etc etc. Though we had planned almost everything and had come to terms that life is not going to be the same when little muchkin arrives, if anyone asked me. “Are You ready to be a Mother?”; I always said “No!”.
Whenever, I hear a news of an unexpected pregnancy, it makes me curious and a plethora of questions arise in my mind. How did they take the news, how long did it take them to digest the fact that their lives are going to change, how did they start planning after the news, what compromises they had to make due to this revelation and many more…
Finally, I took steps to calm my frenzied mind and reached out to some amazing parents who happened to became parent by ‘accident’. Did you know – most of the time birth controls don’t work and accidents can happen?
But that does not mean the baby is unwanted or unloved. It just means life knew what they needed even before they knew.
Sumit & Priyanka, parents of a charming girl who soon will be two, display this everyday where they can’t get enough of their delightful daughter. Sumit is an IT professional and Priyanka is a former kindergarten teacher and now a Stay-At-Home mom (by choice). They had been married for a year and were getting to know each other as they had an arranged marriage. They weren’t really thinking of having a baby at the moment, but life had something else stored for them.
They became alert when Priyanka was running late for her monthly cycle. They took it casually for a couple of days as it is common these days (stress, eating habits, lifestyle). Finally, she turned to home pregnancy kit when she started observing some symptoms (fatigue, stomach-ache and at times, nausea). When two pink lines appeared, they did a whole lot of research about the accuracy & false positive and even false negative (haha). Before, getting their hopes high, they took the right step of consulting the gynaecologist and getting a blood test.
After waiting for ages (it was actually a day), the results were out and they were hit by the wave of shock, anxiety, surprise, curiosity and what not. Once, they made peace with the results, came the big question “Are we ready??”
Priyanka had just got foothold on her career, Sumit was still getting accustomed to his new organisation. The question that hovered their mind was, “Are we physically, emotionally, financially ready to be parents?” But abortion was never an option for them.
They pacified themselves by the fact that one can never be ready to be a parent until they become one. Priyanka took the reigns in her hands, did all the research, shared all her findings with Sumit (even when he was not interested). They did not shy away to get help; doctors and their parents were their guides, which gave them a sense of security that they were not alone in this.
Their motto was ‘One day at a time!’ What kept them going was their acceptance towards this child, who was an extension of their immense love.Their journey became easier as they laid the foundation of it with the understanding of:
- Even though being a parent is a big responsibility, it does not mean we should overthink and get anxious about it.
- Just because we are going to be parents, it won’t be that our life will cease to exist.
- We will be responsible towards our kid but our happiness, likes and dislikes will not take a back seat.
They knew that this decision was not a blocker to their happiness but an extension to it.
Sumit stepped up to his upcoming responsibility and knew that it was more about his wife, who will need his support at every step. He knew it wasn’t time to be selfish and fixate on his emotions. He resolved to stay by her side through nausea, mood swings, cravings, back pains, mandatory walks, doctor’s appointment, and the labour.
And their joy knew no bounds when they held their baby girl in their hands. They knew the best decision they ever made was keeping the baby.
Priyanka & Sumit say “Everything make sense when you know that the baby is coming, which is yours; a part of both – you and your partner. Be it a planned or surprise baby, it does not matter. What matters is, your love will be elevated to next level and your life is going to be blissful.”
They cherish their journey that they as partners went through to be parents, which brought them closer.
On the other hand, Piyush & Shraddha, whose little boy is reaching 6-month mark, had completely different experience when they found out about their pregnancy.
Stay tuned to read their story.