Shared by : Manasi Chaudhari
I read somewhere that you know all about parenting till you actually become a parent yourself. It’s true in my case too. I do everything that I once said I won’t do with my kid so if you are looking for advice you are probably reading the wrong post.
I started reading about parenting styles and what kind of parent I want to become when I thought of becoming one.
But the real journey started when I came to know about “Respected Parenting”.
In simple terms, respectful parenting means treating your child as a person. Understanding their emotions while having some boundaries and limits.
As a kid, I was always singled out for having big emotions. Though my parents never shamed me for it, I felt ashamed for crying, for feeling jealous or for feeling lonely. Respectful parenting helps me to connect with my inner child which ultimately helps me to connect with my kid too.
When we become parents we start seeing faults in the way we were raised. It took me a while to keep my feelings aside and understand that the environment we grew up in was different. For our parents providing food, clothes and education were most important.
IQ was more important than EQ. Also, they tried to provide what their childhood lacked. That’s how the loop continues. We need to observe our kids and provide our support where they need it.
Today, for us the challenge is to not buy everything for the kids, not to put them in every class but to see if they are compassionate enough, whether they got grit or not. To push them when needed and be there for them.
Sharing all this with you doesn’t mean that I am a perfect parent. A perfect parent is a myth just like good/bad boy/girl there is no such thing as a good or bad parent. We all are works in progress. We learn each day. What works for us and what doesn’t.
I struggle each day. I am learning to appreciate myself and cut slack for the hard days. Want to end this dialogue on a FRIENDLY note as Monika says to Rachel “Welcome to the real world. it sucks. You are gonna love it“.
I connected with Manasi when her handle was ‘architectmatandadu’ , though I had difficulty in comprehending her handle in the beginning, I was hooked by the raw stories she shared. I was like, thankfully, someone who shares ‘real’ stories and she inspired me to do the same.
I connect to her on so many levels – apart from pune, nagpur connection, her son is just 6 months elder to mine, I love her emotional posts and the must watch reccos as they overlap with my interests and her book reviews are amazing – architectmata
She is a conservation architect who decided to prioritize her son’s upbringing but keeps the architect alive in her through her posts and connecting with other architect moms.
This is a leaf from Parenting Series Chapter where I am inviting Parents to share their views on Parenting and #BuildOurParentingStyle
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Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article are solely based on author’s experience. Please do not consider it as professional advice.